Thursday, April 17, 2014

no one,
not even the one I thought did will understand how solitary I'm feeling.
I am happy for you, about the good things that you are experiencing.
Yet I am upset myself. Not because I am comparing with you, but it is a fact that I am not getting anything I strive for. I can't help but feel sad about my predicament when I listen to your experiences.
You say people don't get things their way, and that I'm spoilt cause I want things.
but, who doesn't. 
I am just not selfless. I wonder if I'm selfish or is it human nature. 
I am working hard too, maybe you think others work harder. However, do I not have the right to feel sad about myself being lousy? 
You may think it's stupid and ridiculous.
We are different and you never will understand me.
That constant longing for someone to understand and stand by me through these(that may seemingly be puny little pebbles to you).
I don't want that someone to be my parents cause I don't wish to worry them, neither do I expect them to understand the way I feel. I know they provide consolation, love, care and concern. But I know they will worry too.
I wish I had someone to talk to, just someone to listen to my problems, provide advice with no judgements. no affect. 
Someone who wouldn't make me feel lousier.

I wish I wasn't alone.